Feastin'

The past quarter, or so, has been exceedingly lousy. Shit, the past few years have boasted a steady decline in which each weeks has, more or less, been worse than the week that preceded it. As a result I haven't posted much of late, I'm a bitter, angry and generally miserable person, but I derive no joy from making others unhappy (if I did then I'd likely be better off) so I see no point in posting nothing but a bunch of bitching and complaining. I don't mind pointing out something shitty, but I don't enjoy just plain ol' bitchin'. Thus the silent blog. I've been unable to think of anything positive (or at least funny) to post.

That said - it's Thanksgiving again!

As I've said since I can remember, I'm not thankful for shit. The vast majority of my problems come from having been born wrong, that is having nothing of consequence in common with those who make my decisions for me. So I'm not going to sift through the life for which I am the placeholder looking for each little nugget that doesn't suck and then pretend to be "thankful" for them. I have nothing that I haven't earned entirely on my own and nothing that isn't out-weighed by the negative aspects of my existence which are almost always a direct result of an outside force. So, fuck "thankful".

But...

Tomorrow is feast day!

Christina makes a massive traditional Thanksgiving dinner and we feast. It is usually a pleasant day with great food and if I drink enough (and I usually do) I can shut down my brain enough to stop thinking, momentarily, about the countless things beyond my control that deprive me of life, liberty, justice and the pursuit of happiness. It's usually a good day and it is a good thing.

If anyone is still reading this blog - have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, however you think about it.

Comments

[Ted]

Hope you've had a great feast! What sucks is that I have to work tomorrow.

[Monkey Bob]

Whew! Dude, you are having a really tough time! I can sympathize with you because I preiodically descend into that pit of DUH (despair und hopelessness). To say that it sucks is an under statement. I also suffer from panic attacks, which often accompany depression. However, yesterday I discovered a great new drug - Xanax. It's like winning the lottery for your brain. I don't really know you so I don't presume to give you advice, but maybe this wonder drug may make your life just a little less shitty. I hope that things get better for you!